weapons of mass destruction

June 23, 2011

the most terrible thing happened last week.

my kids were having their ‘quiet time’- which has replaced ‘nap time’. the ‘quiet time’ from the day before was pure wonderment. the kids did what they were supposed to do- be quiet, read books, and hopefully pass out. the kids passed out in front of their bookcase, dead asleep on a bunch of books on the floor. it was sheer adorableness. i was so happy that i had such great, obedient, studious, and tired children. life was grand.

then ‘quiet time’ came around again the next day. the kids were very very very quiet. but they were not good at all. they were the absolute opposite of good. extreme, polar opposite of good.

you know how anything can be a weapon in the wrong hands? that’s what happened. but it’s not like the kids were using innocent things like books, or knitting needles, or cotton balls to wreak havoc. no. they used something beautiful- nail polish, to destroy themselves, and their bedroom carpet and wall.

sure, this picture doesn’t look that bad, but that’s how the carpet looks AFTER i already got a lot of the nail polish out. and there’s more nail polish on their dresser. and on some of their clothes and blankets…

and of course, they got a lot of nail polish on themselves. a lot. some on their faces, lots on their legs, feet, hands, and some even managed to properly land on their toe nails.

lily had taken two bottles of my nail polish days ago and hidden it in one of her little purses. lily is a hoarder and a sneak. so, she didn’t leave the room during her quiet time, which is why no one knew what she and topher were up to. until the smell of nail polish wafted through the house when the air conditioner kicked on. and boy was that smell potent! the kids got seriously disciplined and will hopefully never ever again use something as wonderful as nail polish, which is to be used only for the beautification of things- not for the destruction thereof.

clean up time was not superscuccessful (as you saw from the carpet picture) but that’s mostly because i ran out of nail polish remover. after about a whole bottle and maybe 100 cotton balls later, the carpet still looks like junk and the kids have remnant nail polish on their toes. pink nail polish of course. on topher. of course.

here’s a picture of lily trying not to pass out from the fumes from the nail polish remover. the fumes that are pissing her off the most are probably from the nail polish remover that was used on her face. chris was very good about finishing up with clean up duty when he got home from work.

gotta love these crazy crazy crazy kids…



weapons of mass destruction


  1. Brantonians says:

    I love, love, love the way you write. Thank you for being an English major. If I had to write about this, I'm afraid every other word would have been quite inappropriate. Love you.

  2. Hilarious, especially since it wasn't my kids! I am so glad that they keep you on your toes – we wouldn't want you to be bored. Thanks a bunch for everything.

  3. Lindsay says:

    Oh no! David suggests skipping the nail polish remover and getting a large can of acetone from Home Depot.

  4. Wow…not much else to say. I agree with Cindy's comment. I am not sure that I would have been so diplomatic when writing about this subject. haha!

  5. Christin says:

    This is why your children are so exceptionally cute, so they can get away with this stuff.

  6. erindezago says:

    this is going to sound crazy but windex worked for us one time! a jug of acetone might work too!

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