For the most part, I am a very rational, level-headed woman. I spaz out every once in awhile, when the occasion calls for it, but I rarely cry, much to the pleasure of my husband. Lately, I have been feeling, uh, not so rational. Have kinda felt like crying a few times this week, the most memorable time being a few weeks ago while I watched the season finale of ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ They had this little guy who had some kind of genetic disorder, and he danced his little heart out and it was so amazing! I held back tears cause I was with a girlfriend- a well-known frequent cryer, and if she wasn’t even shedding any tears, there was no reason why I should be. Or was there?…
So, my baby is 5 months old and she is quite the little chunk-a-lunk! The books say that once babies start eating solid foods, their interest in The Breasts decreases. The books also say that babies often do not like the taste of folrmula so it is a good idea to do a ratio of more breastmilk to formula and to change the ratio as time goes on. Lily had her first taste (ok, tastes) of formula when we were in Michigan two weeks ago for a wedding. I was busy! I was in the wedding and I could not pump enough breastmilk to satiate my little piglet. And having my baby attached to my boob at the altar was not an option (apparently people frown upon that kind of thing. Go figure.) Anyway, my little Lilers chowed that formula down like it was going out of style. So she drinks formula just fine, she is always ecstatic to see her great friends- The Breasts, and she eats cereal off the spoon as if she’s been doing it her whole life. This girl LOVES TO EAT. Anyway, I figured that my ravenous appetite was due to my baby literally sucking everything outta me…
Now, I know I had mentioned earlier that I am a rational person, and what I am about to tell you may not sound like something a smart person would do- but just bear with me for a sec. When I was Finally ready to be intimate with my husband again after giving birth- a mere three months after the fact (did I mention I am 110lbs not-pregnant, and my husband is 180lbs not-pregnant, and my baby came out a week early at a whoppping 8lbs 3 oz. All these facts were factors in our need to wait.) Another set back was due to the Progestin-only birth control pill I started a few weeks earlier. Apparently those little suckers are more sensitive than my mom on menopause. The normal pill is a very relaxed and forgiving pill- if you forget to take it one day, you can double up the next day. Sure you’re supposed to take them at the same time everyday, but the world doesn’t come to a screeching halt if you are a bit late. The Progestin-only pill is not so lenient. If you should happen to miss your dosage time by five minutes it makes your body think it’s not on the pill any more at all and therefore causing you to have a period. No one told me about the fickle nature of this pill, so I kept taking it, around 3:00pm every day, give or take 30 to five minutes, and I kept getting my period! It would start and go on for about a week, then it would stop for a week, then start up again, then stop, then start, AGAIN. Yes, I had my period three times in June. Boo. I finally went to the doctor after the third time, and they blamed it all on the Progestin-only pill. So I stopped taking it, and decided that condoms would be our birth control method of choice until I was done breast feeding.
I had been on the Pill (the nice one) since we got married, so I never had used condoms before. I bought some with my friend who was an avid condom user, and had them ready in my bed-side table, ready for action. When action night finally arrived, my husband slipped one on, we started doing the deed (with LOTS of lube) but stopped mid-way. I couldn’t really feel a difference (like I said, there was a lot of lube involved) but my husband was very uncomfortable. He said he would just ‘pull out’ before anything happened. And then that became our new birth control method of choice. As my father would say in his broken English- ‘that is not quite an idea’.
Shockingly enough- I’m pregnant again! My sister says my husband and I are like stupid high school students, and I guess we are. I seriously thought that the combination of my breast feeding, and my husband pulling out- there was no way we’d get pregnant. Oops. I did it again.
Fortunately, my husband is a major family-oriented man, so he is very excited about our surprise addition. It took me a second longer to get excited, but I surely am now.
What’s the moral to this terribly long blog? There is a reason they do not put the ‘Pull Out Method’ in text books about sex and birth control. Unless it’s in the section for ‘Do not try this at home idiots.’