Mental ProActiv Anyone?

July 2, 2009

I have not been blessed with very good skin. I have this skin condition called Psoriasis which is kind of the bane of my existence. Basically my skin grows faster than other people and I get rid of it by developing lesions and it flakes off. Yup, it’s as gross as it sounds. And I have also had a couple of different run-ins with acne.
I had decently good skin till I hit 16ish. Then I got a good number of zits that just wouldn’t go away. My dad happened to be on a infomercial watching kick at the time, so he actually ordered a facial scrubber for my mom (there was a motorized scrubber and a cream that had little microcrystals in it, and my dad gave my mom a facial almost every night for a while. It was kind of amazing to watch.) And he also decided to order some ProActiv for me. (Which he did NOT apply on my face everyday. Thanks dad!)
Anyway, it worked! (Jessica Simpson and P.Diddy do not lie folks!) That was kind of great. But then my acne came back a few years later, and it didn’t work any more, so then I went on the Pill for awhile, and then that helped. Then I moved to Korea after college, and you’d think that I was all done with puberty. Think again.
I developed the WORST case of adult acne in the world. It happened somewhere between the time of Jeehon getting engaged, Chris dumping me, my being severely stressed out at work, and my getting back together with Chris, and Jeehon’s wedding day. I was going to a dermatologist in Korea and I spent A LOT of money trying to look ‘ok’ (I wasn’t even trying to shoot for ‘great’ because that was too far fetched) for Jeehon’s wedding, and seeing Chris again for the first time in over a year.
Anyway, all that said, my skin is just fine now, but recently I was reminded of Lily’s little run-in with zits. Or one in particular. It was on her brain when she was just a wee little one in my gigantic belly. I don’t remember what week it was, apparently it was around week 20, and the doctor noticed a cyst on her brain. This was after we had already had tons of extra ultrasounds done because the doctor couldn’t even FIND her brain for a few weeks. And then when they found it, it had a choroid plexus cyst. Sounds so serious and scary. But apparently it’s not. Here’s a little shpiel about ‘this conditinon’ that I got off of the internet:
The choroid plexus is the area of the brain that makes the spinal fluid that surrounds the brain and spinal cord. Once in a while a cyst forms inside the choroid plexus and is called a “choroid plexus cyst”. A choroid plexus cyst does NOT cause learning problems or mental retardation and are not cancer. Although it can be scary to hear the two words “cyst” and “brain” in the same sentence, these cysts are not known to cause any problems for a baby. Choroid plexus cysts are seen in approximately 1% (1 in 100) of all second or third trimester ultrasounds. They usually disappear during the third trimester but they don’t always. These cysts can also be found in adult brains and go unnoticed during our lifetime.”
If the cyst is a big deal it usually means there is a chromosomal issue that results in Trisomy 18. But usually if your baby has Trisomy 18, there are much more severe and apparent indicators than this little cyst on their brain. The doctor told us that it would in all likelihood be gone in about two weeks, and that if we had had an ultrasound two weeks later, than we never would have seen this cyst, which could also be thought of as a ‘zit’. So, Lily had this cyst/zit, and it went away two weeks later, just as they had predicted. But definitely during the two weeks, I was freaking out. I prayed tons. I didn’t tell too many people about this, but they prayed tons too. And maybe she was supposed to have some serious defect and we prayed it away. Who knows? God is pretty awesome and powerful. BUT, maybe it was nothing to begin with and therefore it ended up being nothing.
Anyhoo, I was reminded of all this trauma and drama recently because a friend of mine was experiencing the same thing with their new little bun in the oven. And Chris had to remind me that this happened to Lily a little over two years ago. But I had seriously forgotten all about it! It is amazing how I have already started shutting out bad memories and only remembering the good stuff. And it is amazing that sometimes we want to know EVERYTHING about our babies, but when we find out ‘too much’ unnecessary information, it just drives us crazy and we would have all been better off not knowing. Ignorance proves to be bliss once again.

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