We live in a fallen world full of sin. I will repent right now for having lied before- I said I wasn’t gonna talk about poop again, but you know what? I am a sinner and a liar, so here we go again.
Topher went ELEVEN DAYS without pooing! I know what you’re thinking- what kind of self-respecting mother would let her child go eleven days without pooing? Well, the last time he pooed was on Thursday the 17th. That was Jeehon’s birthday so it was easy to remember. Then the next Thursday came and went with no poo, and sadly- that was normal. Then Friday came and went with no poo. Then Saturday. And that’s when I started to get antsy. But by the time I was ready to call for help, it was Saturday night and no one was in office to help me, and of course the next day was Sunday. Day 10.
So finally I called our pediatrician on Monday morning, and the triage nurse told me not to let my kid go six days without pooping. Ooops…. She told me to buy some infant glycerin suppositories, cut it in half, lubricate my finger, and shove the suppository and my finger up my poor baby’s unsuspecting bottom. But just up to the first knuckle. And then hold his butt cheeks together so that he doesn’t expel the suppository before it has time to disolve. Apparently he is supposed to have a movement within fifteen minutes to an hour. She told me to call as soon we saw some action.
Yesterday was my day with all three kids, so I wasn’t able to go until Jeehon came home on her break at five. So all day I told/threatened Topher that mama was going to shove something up his heinie if he didn’t poop on his own. He just smiled and cooed at me. So cute. And so foolish! Kids these days. So I finally got to Walgreens at five, came home, and got ready for action.
We put the big kids in Lily’s crib. Containment was key. We had no idea what to expect. I put Topher on the changing table and got ready for the unthinkable. I opened his onesie and BLAMO! Poop! I scared the crap outta him again! Yes! Thank you Jesus! So I threw out the suppository (sure I coulda kept it, but I felt like I needed some closure. It was very therapeutic for us all.) and whistled as I changed Topher’s very messy bottom.
I told Chris about our day when we were unwinding to go to bed and he was very happy to hear that his son had not been violated. He says he is going to take his son to get a tattoo that says ‘Exit only’ with an arrow pointing to his butt. Oh Christopher (Sr. and Jr.).
So, Topher pooed again today, and we are just hoping that this is TRULY the beginning of something new and wonderful for him. And I apologize for talking about poo again, but you know what? This is my life- full of poop. Or at least full of prayers for more of it.
I thorougly enjoyed this post…which I feel bad saying since little Topher probably didn’t find the whole episode enjoyable. The “mommy reality” is quite refreshing 🙂