Grossness = Being a Mom

July 27, 2009

I was going to write yesterday but I was too grossed out by myself to sit at the computer. And I was pooped. Literally. Figuratively. All of that.

Two days ago Sungu pooped on the carpet in his room. Again. This time it was WAY grosser. And this time Jeehon stepped in it, not me (Sweet! For me. Not Jeehon.) He did it during sacred ‘Nap Time’, and at the beginning of it, not the end (cause he had dried on poop on his foot, leg and butt). So when my sister went into his room, the first thing she saw was the poo on her foot, then her poo stained, pantless, diaperless son, who had gotten poop on his sleeping area. He didn’t look like he had played in it at all cause his hands were clean. If he had some on his hands, he licked it off real good…

But that’s old news. Today we had an action packed day. We went to the mall to hang out and play in the kids area. Though it was pretty crowded, we had an injury-free time! Yeah! Then we went on the carousel, which was perfect cause we had three kids, and three adults cause James was there with my sister and I. Then we went outside where they had a new shaved ice stand. SO GOOD. I am not a huge fan of sno-cones, but shaved ice is a million times better than sno-cones. The flavor runs to the bottom, but still gets every flake of ice wet with tasty-goodness on its way down. James was nice enough to buy the carousel ride and the icy treat. He was at the stand with Sungu, and after I got my kids and Jeehon situated by a grassy area, I went back to help James out. So I took Sungu from him and started walking over to the others. And I noticed my shirt was wet, right where Sungu was resting on me. I put him down, and sure enough, he had peed through his diaper. He had drank almost an entire bottle of water while we were in the play area, and now a lot of that was in pee form on my shirt. And James’ too.

Then we got home, fed the kids dinner (yes, after they had already had dessert.) and started to go upstairs to get ready for bed. I was holding Topher when I was slapped in the face by a nasty stench. Topher had diahrea (sp????) and it leaked through his pants, and on to my arm. Awesome. So I got him changed, bathed, and in to bed, along with the other monsters.

When I got back downstairs I was ready to enjoy a quiet and lovely evening with my sister and brother-in-law. I started tidying up the living room, and I picked something up that looked like a little cashew. It was a little bit soft, but kept it’s form. I had no idea what it was, so I did the ‘Ultimate What is it? Test’ I smelled it (the step down from the ‘Ultimate Test’ is the ‘Serious Test’ which involves licking). My being the idiot that I am (for SO MANY different reasons) I brought it too close to my nose, and so it touched my nose. And of course- it was poo. I don’t know whose poo. But it was definitely poo.

So I stood in the middle of the living room wanting to just pass out. I had pee in my shirt, diahrea on my arm, and poo in my hand and on my nose. So I put the baby-poop in the toilet (cause that’s where it belongs!!!!!!!!!), hung my head in shame and sadness, went upstairs for a serious disinfecting shower, and went to bed. I love being a mom. I really do. But if you see me, and I smell like poo, it’s probably cause it’s on my shirt, or in my hair, or on the tip of my nose, or all of the above.

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Grossness = Being a Mom

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  1. I know it's weird to say this but you tell good poop stories. 🙂

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