“Eww. Gross Topher”

March 12, 2010

this is lily’s favorite line of late. or it’s my favorite line that she delivers with such gusto, a few times a day. topher is kinda gross. he’s a boy, so apparently that’s ok. but he’s been pouring on the grossness pretty thick the last two days.

yesterday, topher was pulling on my earrings. i’ve been trying to ‘dress up’ a bit more lately. more for my husband than anyone else. and not that he made a comment about my appearance or anything. the mirror makes comments, and i just feel bad for the guy sometimes. so yeah, been trying to wear earrings to make it look like i am making an effort on my looks. and the kids love it. they really like looking at my giant fake jewels, and occassionally pulling on them. the hoops i was wearing yesterday were very kid-friendly. they ‘snap’ shut, so if they get pulled on, they come undone quite easily with no ligament damage to my ears. topher pulled both of my earrings off and then wandered off. i didn’t really care. until about 5 minutes later when he was dropping off the browns to the superbowl. or in this case- the little plastic ikea green potty bowl. him pooping holding my earrings wouldn’t have been a big deal if he hadn’t dropped one of my earrings in his poop. murphy’s law or something like that, right? good bye earrings. you may be kid-friendly, but you are not poop-friendly. one of those earring are in the trash, the other is floating in the pipes, in the midst of topher’s poopies.

then this morning, topher was in a loving mood. which was wonderful. he was full of hugs and kisses. one kiss in particular landed right smack on my lips. which is usually so sweet and wonderful. little kids’ kisses make my day. i love when my kids give me hugs and kisses for no reason. but this kiss in particular was gross. cause topher had a bit of a runny nose, and when he ran off after giving me a kiss, i was left with a booger on my lip. eww. gross topher. i love you too. but that’s gross.

we went to walmart this evening. i put topher in his undies cause he peed right before we left the house, and i was planning on getting him to pee once at walmart too. and he did! it was so great. (by the way, after we got back from vegas, don’t remember if i’ve already mentioned this, but topher is not ‘potty trained’ anymore! argh.) when i was getting ready to put him in his car seat, i gave him a kiss (no boogers!) and then felt my arm getting warm. at first i thought it was the warmth of the love running between my beautiful son and i. but no. it was urine. running through his undies, and his pants, onto my sleeve. oh topher. i would have been mad, only i was so happy that he urinated on my arm rather than his car seat. cause my sweater is easy to throw into the wash, his car seat cover- not so much.

so, that’ my disgusting son for you. but i feel like i need to share something else that happened at walmart. cause i blog for you readers- to learn from my mistakes. cause i really make so stinkin many of them! anyhoo, after we had our wonderful time in the walmart bathroom, where both topher and lily peed, we were just walking around having a gay old time. when all of a sudden lily fell out of the shopping cart. when we go shopping, i put the kids in the basket-part of the shopping cart. they just stand in there and do their thing. it’s not a big deal. or it wasn’t before today. anyhoo, lily was standing at the edge of the shopping cart and fell backwards. like she actually did a flip in the air before landing on the ground, kind of on her stomach, but a bit of her head did catch the ground. of course. so there she was screaming and crying in my arms. i know there were some people around me, but i hardly noticed them. topher was sitting in the shopping cart, also crying, cause i guess he felt like crying was the cool thing to do. i was not crying, cause it’s not pms week for me. but man did i feel like a giant loser. and i felt so bad for lils cause that really must have hurt and scared the crap out of her. it scared the crap out of me! one mom who saw the whole thing, came up to me and asked if we were ok and then asked if lily wanted a piece of candy. cause candy cures all. it was very nice of her but i declined. i would hook lily up with a treat in a bit. but the other mom said exactly the words that any mom needs to hear in this kind of terrible situation: “don’t worry. that’s happened to me before. you’re not a bad mom.” thanks lady at walmart! i needed that.

as for lily, she’s doing alright. actually, she got over the fall pretty quickly as we started doing some grocery shopping and she saw that i was getting yogurt drinks (her favorite). i also let her pick up a box of cheese nips and carry them all over the store. she did tell me she was hungry and wanted to eat. that alarmed me since
1. we had some oatmeal before leaving the house and 2. she never says she is hungry. i thought maybe she was having a concussion or that the fall had turned her into a person who suddenly liked to eat. we had some rice at home and that seemed to appease her just fine. no bruise or bump, no throwing up, no passing out. i think we were pretty lucky this time!

so, if you take anything away from this post, i hope it’s the knowledge that your kids can, and truly might, fall out of a shopping cart. or that it’s not safe for your kids to poo while holding your earrings. or that you should wipe your kid’s nose before they kiss you.


“Eww. Gross Topher”


  1. Shannon says:

    Valid lessons. Thanks for the wisdom friend. 🙂

    And sorry your earing was dropped in poop. And sorry your arm was peed on. And you are absolutely NOT a bad mom. I concur with Walmart lady. 🙂

  2. Brantonians says:

    I love how you have Poop as its own lable!

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