Episode 92: Safe House for Foster and Adoptive Kids

April 30, 2020

How are you holding up friends?

This week’s  episode starts off with us talking about a rough day in the Watson household. Is it because of quarantine? Or PMS? Or just parenting? Maybe all of the above.

Safe House

Then we get into the meat of the episode – which is about a great book we read – “Safe House” by Dr. Josh Straub. In this book, they talk about how EMOTIONAL SAFETY, more than any other factor is scientifically linked to raising kids who live, love, and lead well. So it’s important as the parents to learn emotional safety, so we can provide that for our kids as well.

We mentioned that we went to Kids Blitz, here in Arizona. And it was a 6 hour training day for foster parents, and it was great! Chris and I learned about how kids organize, according to their surroundings – and to their guardians. If you are unstable as the guardian, children will not know how to organize and stay regulated around you.

This prompted us to add a new element to our nightly routine of book reading/devotionals and prayer – bedtime handshakes. Each kid has a unique handshake with each parent. And even after a very long day – the kids get their handshake. Even if there isn’t much talking or snuggling besides that – the handshake helps everyone to go to bed knowing that things are ok, and their parents love them. Kids need stability. And sometimes we fail at giving it to them. But we are trying! We encourage everyone to MAKE TIME for what matters to you, and your family!

More resources

If you listen to episodes 38 and 39, we have interviews with Christie Priem, a speech language pathologist. She shares so many incredible tips on how to help your children to regulate themselves. She primarily talks about how to detect developmental delays in your children – but all of these tactics work for children, and adults alike!

And don’t forget that children with trauma – even the ones who don’t “look/act” traumatized – have carried a heavy burden in their lives. Their ACES scores are higher, just by being a ward of the state, and not living with their biological families. Let’s remember this, especially if they struggle with learning, and doing things that we think ‘should be easy’. If you want to find out what your ACEs score is, you can take the test here.

The Good Word of the Day

“In peace I will lie down and sleep,
 for you alone, Lord,
 make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 4:8

Friends! Let’s make sure we, as parents, are taking deep breaths, reading good books, are controlling the things that we can control. Then we can provide homes that provide for basic needs of children, and then some. When we are constantly angry, frustrated, upset – we shouldn’t be surprised if our children are mirroring that behavior and attitude. 

We hope you have a great week, and will be back to tune in for another new episode next week! Stay safe and sane!

If you would like to connect:

Jihae on Facebook

Chris on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram

You can also email us at jihaeandchris@yahoo.com

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!


Episode 92: Safe House for Foster and Adoptive Kids


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