This week’s episode is a short one! We read somewhere that most people like to tune un for 20-30 minutes. So, we are giving it a shot! This can’t be our norm, since we interview people, and we want to hear as much of their stories as possible. But when we can, we will try to keep the episodes between just Chris and I, less than 45 minutes? Ok? No promises though. We are Chatty Cathys.
Raising Kids who Aren’t Butts
So the heart of this episode is to have a focus on how you want your kids to turn out. We have a motto for our Small Group, which is “Raising kids who aren’t A-holes”. And it’s funny, and it’s true. But after talking with our wise friends, the Worcesters, they told us we need to focus on what we DO want our kids to be, not on what we DON’T want our kids to be.
What we don’t want our kids to be is too broad and too vague. But when we have a specific goal for our kids, it is easier to direct them in that manner. The Worcesters also mentioned that some of the most successful people are Kind, Compassionate, and Forgiving. So that’s what we are trying to instill in our kids, among a couple of other things.
So, what now?
But, when the kids are unkind, it is much easier to guide them to try again, and show them what kindness looks like. This takes a lot of consistency, rewarding what is done correctly, redoing what is done incorrectly, and modeling this for the kids, as their parents.
This talk stemmed from Topher coming home from school, asking for new shoes. That he had not worn out or grown out of. So the answer was NO. But after a few weeks, after seeing $11 shoes on sale at Target, Topher got some new shoes, and later divulged that someone made fun of him for wearing Sketchers.
Can we make a pact?
Can we, as a community, agree to raise our kids to be kind to one another?? Can we teach our kids to be confident in who they are, and to really like what they like, even if other kids make fun of them? And in feeling confident in themselves, teaching them to not tear others down, and not judging others for what they wear? Please??
Again, this is something that will happen with intentional conversations. With modeling what a life that isn’t based on acquiring material possessions, keeping up with the Joneses, and not talking smack about the Joneses and what they wear and have.
So that’s it. We hope you enjoy today’s episode and that it gives you pause to talk to your kids about this stuff, and to check yourself (before you literally wreck yourself).
The (Good) Word of the Day
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
This verse is the basis for raising our kids (and reminding ourselves) to be kind, compassionate, and forgiving. Just as Jesus was.
Thanks for joining us, and we hope you will join us again next week!
If you want to connect on Social Media, you can find me at:
Jihae Watson on Facebook
Fostering Voices on Instagram
Jihae Watson on Instagram
AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community!
Listen to Epsiode 30 here.