Episode 102: Race and Judgement in Foster Care and Adoption

August 30, 2020

Thanks for joining us for another episode of our podcast! This episode is a conversation about RACE, and why we need to check ourselves, and our thoughts on race.

Books on Race

We read this great book called Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria by Beverly Daniel Tatum, PhD. She discusses race in such a way that makes you really try to understand the many issues faced by our Black and Brown brothers and sisters. We highly recommend this book for you to start thinking about your biases in race.

At Showit, we have been talking about race quite a bit. Showit is a sponsor of this podcast, and we are proud users, and supporters, and employees of Showit! Read this blog article that further discusses this book by Tatum. This article is very helpful in educating us about how to talk about race with our children, and having more books with diversity on our shelves.

This is SO IMPORTANT as foster and adoptive families. Not everyone in your family will ‘match’, and that’s a beautiful things! But can your kids find positive representations of themselves in the books and toys in your home? And even if everyone in your home is Caucasian, it is still a good idea to have books written by authors of color, and protagonists of color as well!

Hair Care for Ethnic Hair

We would love for you to check out this YouTube video that we created with our friends Shamesha (her husband, Reggie, was on episode 37) and Shamara. They run us through how to care for hair of different textures. Especially multi-ethnic and ethnic hair. Did you know hair can be classified into 4 types? It’s important to know what hair types you and your children have, so that you can get the right products for each hair type!

The brands that Shamara and Shamesha love are Mielle, Aunt Jackie’s, and As I Am . The main thing to remember is to keep Type 2-4 hair (curly) very moisturized! We often hear people criticizing pics of little Black children in the care of non-Black parents, saying ‘that child’s hair is not being taken care of!’ But maybe you don’t know what Black, or curly, or any hair besides your own, is supposed to look like! That’s when it’s time to ask questions and seek out resources! (But also, can we stop criticizing so much, and try to start helping and educating??) Thanks SO MUCH to Shamesha and Shamara for their time and expertise in this area!

More Thoughts

Can we out-serve one another? Let’s just give that a try and see how things go. When we are serving others with a good heart – we aren’t looking out for ourselves. We are looking out for others. And if you live your life this way, with boundaries and wisdom, but also faith and love – we promise that others will try to out-serve you! We got this idea from Francis and Lisa Chan’s book – You and Me Forever. You can download this book for free!

Don’t be color blind. Don’t be satisfied with being ‘not-racist’. Be anti-racist! Be an ally for our Black and Brown brothers and sisters who need our help and support!

And as adoptive and foster parents, Beverly Tatum challenges us all with this thought: “Do not let your child be your first friend of color.” She has a whole section on ‘Identity in Adoptive Families Considered’ in her book, pages 321-328. She very hopefully says: “Adults willing to do the personal work required to confront racism and stretch their own cultural boundaries increase the possibility that they will have the reward of watching their children emerge into adulthood with a positive sense of their identities intact.” (328)

Follow Therepy Redeemed for lots of great information on adoption and transracial adoption. As well as Hey TRA (transracial adoptee). The more we know, the more we can all grow – and support our adoptive and foster children of color.

I talked about how Kevinee Gilmore, of Hashtag Foster Care, and I had a rough beginning to our relationship. But I am very thankful for her, and her heart for foster youth! She has a shop that you can support, and be confident that you are supporting a true champion of foster kids in Ohio!

Podcasts We Listen To

Chris is a member of the Footclan, because he listens to the Fantasy Footballers Podcast. We are thankful for these 3 friends who have helped Chris will tens of tens of dollars over the years. #hundredaire

Jihae listened to the Michelle Obama Podcast, which is only available on Spotify! The first episode with special guest – Barack Obama, was a real treat! If you care about community, and purpose, and people – you will enjoy this episode!

Michelle Obama, the Footballer guys, and other podcasters are not our competition! We love listening to podcasts, and are always thankful for anyone who listens to ours. Feel free to let us know which podcasts you guys are listening to!

The Good of the Day

This is from Carlos Whittaker, an author we greatly admire. He wrote Kill The Spider, which we talked about in an episode, but can’t remember which one… He also has a new book called Enter Wild, which we are also big fans of. Follow him @loswhite on Instagram to learn more about how to talk about race, and be aware of the slight of our Black and Brown friends, as he himself is a Black and Brown man.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

Ephesians 4:2-6

Be humble and gentle! And patient! Let us love and care for one another and be unified in the Spirit. I believe in us. I believe in Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Let’s Connect!

We hope you enjoyed this episode, and if you did – please leave us a review on iTunes! And feel free to email us at hello@fosteringvoices.com if you want to chat, or if have any questions or suggestions for us. Have a great week, friends!

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae on Instagram and Chris on Facebook

AND we would LOVE it if you would SUBSCRIBE and leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community with more people!


Episode 102: Race and Judgement in Foster Care and Adoption


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