Access Denied…

July 22, 2008

For those of you who read my post yesterday and felt like reprimanding me for my being racist against my own kind- no worries, Chris Watson has already done it. Though part of me was joking, obviously part of me wasn’t. I don’t hate Korean men. I love my dad and my three brothers and my old school Korean buddies back in the tdot. And I don’t disrespect all young Korean-American professionals, just the pompous ones. At any rate, my lovely husband reminded me that we are parents and that our kids are constantly watching us and will take on our behaviours, whether we like it or not, whether we are joking or not. Point well taken Mr. Watson. Thanks…

Anyhoo, remember I mentioned I have been trying to ‘access my uncrazy side’ more? Dang. It is getting harder and harder to do! This morning I had a bunch of work to get done, and I was planning to go to the office as soon as Topher woke up. The problem was that Jeehon had to take Sungu to a doctor’s appointment (his one year well check up) at 9, and Chris had to leave at 10 for work. I almost blew a gasket trying not to blow a gasket. I still managed to get a lot of the work done at home. It shouldn’t have been a big deal. But it felt like everything was falling apart.

On Friday we went to dinner at the Vogts (Jeff and Mary Beth’s). They live in Queen Creek. We ALMOST moved there. Thank Jesus we didn’t! We took Ellesworth Rd down, which I don’t normally do, but I have heard that it is ‘faster’. No one mentioned that it was the slower alternative during rush hour though. So we were stuck in traffic for quite some time and of course Topher decided it was a good time to start crying. Then Sungu and Lily took turns fussing too. Fortunately they took turns, but that meant there were constantly two kids crying. For over twenty minutes. I tried to make a detour and called Chris to ask him about it (he was with Jeff.) Man, I was snapping at him left right and center. It wasn’t his fault that I had made a detour into a dead end. It wasn’t his fault that the kids were crying. But boy did I make him feel like it was! And he rose above. He knows my crazy voice now. He’s so good to me.

So here I am. It’s 9:30pm. All the kids are sleeping. Jeehon is still at school and Chris is still at work. Today was my day alone with the kids and they were awesome. But my day started off hectic, and I refuse to let it end that way- even though my connection to my work computer really sucks and I almost threw the monitor through the window twice already. I am drinking some decaf coffee. And writing in a calm and leasurely manner, even though I have a ginormous headache in the back of my head. I still have work to do and I am going to do it right now. I just needed to write for a second so that I could try to find my uncrazy side and let it loose.

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