Episode 31: Sex, Porn, Yeah, We Just Went There

This week’s episode is not for little kids’ ears, as we discuss this pornographic society that we live in!

But it is one for husbands, wives, moms, dads, and teenagers. And is definitely a discussion topic for you and your pre-teens.

It’s a good reminder to also mention that this is not a topic solely for those in the foster/adoptive community. There are many children that come from hard places that have had egregious sins committed against them, but in the realm of pornography and masturbation – this is a topic that affects everyone. Even if you don’t believe me.

One scary and true thing that was said in this episode is that your children may not be looking for porn – but porn is looking for them! This is a multi billion dollar industry that wants to find new addicts. 

We have Robert Watson as our special guest this week. He is a pastor at Sun Valley Community Church, and he delivered an awesome sermon on this topic last year. You can find it here, but he shares all the main points on the podcast today.

This is not just a typical sermon. This is a science lesson and soul lesson wrapped in one. 

Some bullet points on what we discussed:

– In the realm of sex and porn, people don’t want to talk about this because the topic is taboo and filled with GUILT and SHAME. We want people to escape from that realm and walk in the light, where there is Freedom and Peace.

– Pornography and masturbation are addictions and appetites that need to be filled the more that they are practiced. When you go to the store on an empty stomach – you will make less healthy food choices in the long run, and you will sample anything and everything along the way. Similarly with sex, you may be longing for intimacy or relationship, but you fill yourself with garbage and actual ruin your ability to enjoy true intimacy and relationship by engaging in porn and self-pleasuring.

– Young women! Think about what you post online. Why are you always in a bikini? Why do you always need to show your boobs?? WHAT DO YOU WANT? Just some attention? For people to tell you that you are pretty? Hot? Think about WHAT you want (attention? relationship? intimacy?) and think about HOW you want to get it. 

Brain chemistry and some weird terms (but great rapper names):

– There is a protein that your brain creates called DeltaFosB.  “[ΔFosB is] almost like a molecular switch. … Once it’s flipped on, it stays on for a while and doesn’t go away easily. This phenomenon is observed in response to chronic administration of virtually any drug of abuse. It is also observed after high levels of consumption of natural rewards (exercisesucrosehigh fat dietsex).” Read the full article here.

– Crebb. “CREB is like the brakes on a runaway reward center; it slows the pleasure response. [22]With CREB onboard, porn that once excited a person stops having the same effect. [23] Scientists believe that CREB is partly why consumers have to keep increasing their porn intake to get aroused. [24] That numbed-out state is called “tolerance,” and it’s part of any kind of addiction.” Read this full article here. What this means is people need to keep upping the ante on what they are watching and doing and how frequently they are doing those addictive things. 

– This is not a podcast episode to tell men that they are terrible. Women are also addicted to porn, as well as romance novels! You can read this article about how this happened to a well known Romance Book author, Francine Rivers.

– This is why sin is progressive, when we decide to hide and keep it a secret from those we love, it just keeps getting worse. But there is help for everyone in all situations, once we choose to get help!

Now what?

–  The Adam and Eve Effect: This is when you love the one you are with. You don’t compare them to anyone else – because back in the day – there was no one to compare Eve to. She was Adam’s one and only. And same with Eve. 

– Robert mentioned this TedTalk by Gary Wilson, who talks about how men who have come out of their porn addiction have been able to learn French, and picked up new, incredible hobbies, very quickly once their brains got freed up from all the porn they were consuming. 

– There is lots of help out there. You just have to be willing to find it AND use it. We want to make the finding part easy for you:

Covenant Eyes: For internet accountability and filtering.

XXXChurch : To help men and women break free from porn addiction

Celebrate Recovery: Find one near you! This is a Christ-centered 12 step recovery program, and it’s amazing.

Disney Circle : to help you filter what people in your house are watching, and even when and how long they are able to watch them. We have this and it’s a great tool!

– TALK. As in, talk about this with people you love and trust. There is hope and freedom for everyone.

The (Good) Words of the Day

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”

-1 Corinthians 6:18

 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”

-Matthew 5:27-30

These verses do not condemn or condone bad behavior. They are wise counsel to RUN AWAY, to be extreme, in escaping the strong grip of the sexual temptation and sin that is out there!

We hope that this week’s episode has shed some light on a very powerful topic that is ruining families and society. 

Please feel free to share this with anyone you think might need to hear this today.

If you want to connect on Social Media, you can find us at:

Robert Watson on Facebook

Jihae Watson on Facebook

Fostering Voices on Instagram

Jihae Watson on Instagram

AND we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review on iTunes! This helps others to find our podcast so we can share these voices from the foster care and adoption community!

 

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